Y’all would not believe the shit we went through to get to Austin this past weekend (unless you read some of my tweets, in which case, you get the gist).
It was all going well until we were about 10 miles north of Alice when all of a sudden my car started making a really fucked up noise and shaking. It sounded like we were driving over the grooves in the shoulder, but worse, so I pulled over and my brother got out of the car to check it out. Turns out I drove over a big ass nail or something, because there was a huge puncture in the tire. Then, to our dismay, we pull out the spare and see that it, too, is fucked up. (Why? I do not know.)
My brother put on the spare anyway, and we figured we’d try to drive back to Alice because the GPS said the nearest gas station was 13 miles away. I start laughing because driving that distance on our ghetto ass spare was going to take us at least an hour. But whatever, we inched our way back. Except since the tire was bad, the drive was all lumpy and fucked up. We couldn’t even drive 5 mph it was so bad.
So then my brother decided to pull of the tire part and just drive on the rim (since the spare was all fucked up anyway). That smoothed out the ride and enabled us to drive at least 10 mph, but we were eating up the road something awful. (No joke: we did unspeakable things to the road along the way). I felt guilty about the road and decided to drive with the bad side on the grass and the good side on the shoulder.
Ghetto fabulous. Mind you: several police/sheriff’s cars passed us on the way and did not stop.
One hour later, we got as far as we dared into Alice city limits and had to stop at the point where the curb started, because we would’ve left really deep grooves in the pavement. There we sat for a while in the wretched heat, trying to figure out if we should wait or just walk. We decided on the latter, leaving my sister with the car.
My brother and I hadn’t even gotten 20 feet before Mary pulled over to give us a ride.
Oh, Mary. I don’t even know how to describe that woman. She was really, really strange (but also very nice). My car crawled into Alice at about 6:45, and over the next 5 hours, Mary took us to 2 convenience stores, 2 trips to walmart (with uh–interesting–convos), offered to let us stay overnight at her place (and offering to take us somewhere we could “buy booze” beforehand), and refused to let us go into a bar where she alleges people have sex on the tables. I can go on and on about all the Maryisms, but that would take a while.
But I’ll reiterate: that woman was extremely nice. We ended up having to stay at a hotel in Alice, and she came by at 8 in the morning to take my brother back to walmart since the auto center had closed by the time we got there Saturday night.
Needless to say, we missed the Master Pancake show in Austin on Saturday night. We finally made it to the city at about noon and are now at the hotel getting ready for the concert.
If this had happened today instead of yesterday and we’d missed the show, I would’ve been so pissed. But whatev…it was kind of the journey from hell, but we got a good laugh out of it. 🙂