One of my favorite things in the world is Netflix. My queue has 400+ titles. I’ve rated almost 3000 movies. I love movies, and I love discovering movies. Seriously. Netflix’s decision to add a buttload of Criterion movies made me giddy.
But sometimes I don’t feel like watching anything artsy or cerebral, hence the presence of some pretty questionable titles in my queue. Which brings us to one of my guilty pleasures: bad movies.
I’m not talking something starring Will Ferrell. No, I’m talking bad movies that think they’re good, but are in fact total pieces of shit. Movies that I can start at 1 in the morning when I’m kinda sleepy or bored, but not tired enough to actually go to sleep. Movies that will undoubtedly make me groan, yet vaguely entertain me at the same time: Awesomely Bad Movies.
And sometimes, as I’m browsing titles, I come across a wannabe-good bad movie that not only sounds completely wretched/offensive/mockable, but has a bad movie poster to boot. My friends, I present you with Grey Owl:
An Iroquois woman named Pony (Annie Galipeau), eager to learn firsthand about her culture’s fast-disappearing traditions, approaches trapper-writer Archie Grey Owl (Pierce Brosnan). He shows her how to trap and instructs her about the wondrous bounty of the wilderness. But Archie’s life drastically changes when he and Pony marry and embark on a lecture tour of England.
Let’s get this straight now: Native American woman goes to white man to learn about her culture, then they get married.
Whoa. It’s Dances with Wolves and Pocahontas all rolled into one, with Pierce tryna look all Sexy Indian Man in front of tepees, fightin’ to change the world and shit.
Needless to say I will not be watching this, even though the mockability levels look promising. I have some standards,* you know…
*Case in point: The Devil’s Arithmetic. A teen Holocaust movie starring Kirsten Dunst and Brittany Murphy that involves time travel?! I am so. there. I discovered this one a few nights ago; it will be in my mailbox by the end of the week.