I borrowed ¡Ask a Mexican! from the library a week ago and have been perusing it randomly ever since. Though I still haven’t made up my mind whether it’s brilliant or offensive (because it does have its moments of both), I came across this one earlier today and was very amused:
What do Mexicans think of Beck? He smokes a lot of weed and says a lot of gibberish in Spanish, so you’d think they would like him. Anyway, I’m just asking because I’m making a mix CD for a hot Mexican girl. You know what’s up.
O Mi Amore
Dear Gabacho: We hate him. Beck had a chance to redefine American usage of Mexican Spanish forever when the Silver Fake hipster decided to name his latest album after a Mexican-Slang word for a white person. Beck could’ve been the hombre to teach the world the wonders of gabacho. But Beck instead named his  release Guero. Sure, many Mexicans use the term to disparage white people, but it doesn’t have the pinpoint ferocity of gabacho—güero technically means “fair-skinned” and is used to describe Americans as well as white-looking Mexicans. More important, though, Beck forgot to put the umlaut (the two dots that hover above a vowel to indicate one vowel assimilating into another) over the u in Guero, rendering his album title meaningless. By the way, if you want to get into a Mexican girl’s chonis, shore up on the Art Laboe and Luis Miguel comps. You know what’s up.
Damn! My Mexican card has been revoked again!
I love Beck (even though I’m positive he’s a total tool), I love Guero (hell, this* was my jam for months on end), and I even love Guerolito, even though I typically hate remixes. But my most pressing issue with this? I would definitely give you the stink eye if you thought you could woo your way into my chonis with Luis Miguel. In fact, I’d probably be more inclined to make like Bobby Hill and not know yew.** For real.
I think if you’re gonna get mad at Beck’s mangling of Spanish, you should instead focus on the way he says perdedor (pear-de-door) on the wildly popular “Loser,”* off 1994’s Mellow Gold. But I even find that irritatingly charming, because he’s Beck, dammit, and he can say it however he wants.
So I guess, baby, I’m a Lost Cause.* 😉
* mp3 files
** This is one of my favorite King of the Hill episodes of all time. You haven’t lived until you’ve seen it.