I’ve wanted try making a green smoothie for some time now, ever since I saw this how-to. I just didn’t have a blender and didn’t want to buy one since I had absolutely no room for appliances in my old NY apartment.
Well, now I have access to a blender. But before I go any further, I’d just like to say:
I’m poor. My blender is nothing like the one in the video; it was probably the cheapest thing on sale at Target. As such, my blender is not magical and cannot do the things that $400 blenders can do.
I’m delusional. I saw that how-to video a grand total of one time–about a year and a half ago, might I add–and thought I’d master all future attempts at green smoothies going off memory alone.
I’m lazy. Rather than trying to locate said video, I haphazardly Googled “green smoothies,” haphazardly skimmed a bunch of “recipes,” then haphazardly decided to use whatever, so long as it included spinach and bananas (because I had a bunch of bananas over-ripening on me).
People who came of age in the 90s might remember Lucy, the maid in Clueless, furiously yelling, “I not a Mexican!” at Cher (because Lucy was, in fact, “from El Salvador…a whole other country!”).* In the 14 years since Clueless was released, I have half-jokingly quoted that line more times than I can remember whenever I’ve felt a minor identity crisis coming on.
I know, I know. There is no monolithic standard for whatever constitutes “Mexican” or “Indian” or “Jewish,” or even “White.” None whatsoever. But try telling yourself that when you’re the only brown person in the room (besides security) at a Mountain Goats or Noah and the Whale concert.**
